The TV Addict 

Dear Mr. Johnson (or Mr. Rock, whichever you prefer),

Though I sometimes get teased for it, I’ve long been an enjoyer of your work. Yes, even including THE SCORPION KING, but not so much the WWE stuff (not my thing). I find you to be a charming son-of-a-gun, and find that you have a very natural screen presence that makes watching you up there always an enjoyable experience. In fact, your presence has saved otherwise mediocre films such as WALKING TALL, DOOM, BE COOL, and, well, SCORPION KING, and left me still saying, “Heck, I was entertained!”
Given your build and ability to carry a good quip (a la Schwarzenegger who famously passed the torch to you in THE RUNDOWN) you are naturally well-suited for action films/buddy pictures. However, it seems ever since you proved your comedic chops and willingness to make fun of yourself by prancing around as a flamboyantly gay man in BE COOL (and frankly, you were the only good thing about that film), all you want to do is comedies. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a funny guy, but it’d be nice to get more out of you than just GET SMART and PLANET 51.

Even worse, it seems like you’re also going the Eddie Murphy/Tim Allen route and starting to make too mainly family friendly movies. Though THE GAME PLAN was cute, you’ve got another Disney remake in the works (RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN), and it was just announced that you’re starring in a film called THE TOOTH FAIRY where you will apparently play a guy who has to save the tooth fairy kingdom. I mean, really? You used to fake beating up people for a living! I understand wanting a career or image change, but this is a bit much.

I’m not saying you should abandon comedy or family fare, but it just seems like that is all you’re doing these days, and I just think you shouldn’t forget to throw us a silly, but fun action film every now and then. Because, honestly, it’s getting harder to defend the fact that I like you when you’re starring in films that involve you wearing tights.

Yours sincerely,

The REEL Addict